I’m not sure what it is, but often times when I meet a new person, whether for business or personal, the other party often tends to get carried away in a massive devulge of personal information. Perhaps it’s because they feel comfortable with me? Maybe it’s that sign on my forehead that says, “Please, tell me your life story in the next 10 minutes.” I don’t know.

But I, like other people out there being talked at, find this somewhat frustrating because when I leave the conversation, I’m left wondering what exactly I added and what  I got out of it. As I don’t run my mouth endlessly, I find comfort in listening to others. Really, I do! I find it interesting and insightful…most of the time. It’s when I’m unable to respond or feel that judo kicking the other person  to get a second to interject that I feel as though the conversation takes on more of a work attitude rather than a fun conversation. (And mind you, I like all my conversations, work or personal, to be fun.)

I don’t know about you, but I get tired. Literally. I feel my eyes start to droop, my mind starts spinning to whether or not I should get my dog fixed instead of what I really want to be doing, which is listening. But after an hour (or four, I’m just saying) of someone blabbering away, without pause,  (you wouldn’t believe how often this happens to me and I’m too nice to walk away or hang up…although it does cross my mind), I feel like just a pile of mush. And THEN, when they call or want to meet again, I’m disinclined. Wouldn’t you feel the same way?

This recent onslaught of OVER TALKERS with which I’m faced  regularly left me wondering how business professionals can really create beneficial relationships if they aren’t connecting. I recently introduced two people, who I thought would have a nice working relationship. However, one came back to me and said, “Jaylyn, I can’t work with him! I really appreciate your help, but it’s not going to work.” When I asked why, I learned that the other individual spent three hours talking to the other person, without even so much as a question about my good friend! I was appalled and embarrased that I’d even suggested the pairing.

Take a second and look at how you converse with others. Are you hogging the conversation? When you walk away, can you name three things the other person said? If not, it might be time to talk less and listen more. You wouldn’t believe how people will open up to you when they know you’re listening!

Often times, companies will spend a major chunk of their communications budget on reaching the external audience. But what about the internal? Your first customer is always your employee. They are closest to the matter, have more invested, and talk more about your business than any of your clients. Doesn’t it make sense to factor in your labor force when brainstorming different messages and channels?

When I worked for my former company, we had an unbeatable environment. We wore whatever we wanted (within reason), kept beer in the fridge, and had dogs running around. We’re at the beach, so our style was laid back, even though we were one of the most successful government contractors in the country. It worked for us.

Though there were high expectations and pressure to get the job done, often working 80-hour weeks (on a good set), my coworkers and I felt that the company cared.

Then, we got bought out by a larger, seemingly soulless organization that disposed of its people faster than trash.

During the acquisition, there was no established source of company communication, if you discount the water cooler. But as most know, water-cooler facts are not always true and often a great source of fear mongering. This left everyone worried, stressed, unsure, and unhappy.

With one quick swoop, the corporate attitude and structure had changed. Everything we loved about the culture of the former company was crushed, as were the feelings and hearts of everyone who felt emotionally tied to the organization. It was really heartbreaking to see men, who on Friday loved being at their job and hanging out with old war buddies, despised the same company on Monday. Heartbreaking.

Though there will always be feelings of anger, resentment, and frustration, standard byproducts of mergers, I don’t think it would have been as bad. Employees hate feeling left in the dark, and they have every right. They invest their lives into a company, an idea of purpose and missions. One of the easiest ways to keep them content is to keep them involved and in the know.

Obviously this doesn’t work on all decision-making levels, but there needs to be some driving force that includes everyone. Whether it’s a newsletter, a corporate blog, a weekly meeting, whatever. Companies that do well by their employees will do well by their customers.

(Photo source: www.radwan-pr.de)

Found this book by Davide Seaman today at Barnes and Noble and pretty much read through the whole thing in a sitting. For those of you looking to augment your brand’s identity or just learn a few tricks about what to do while doing a radio interview, this is a great book. The format is simple and straightforward and loaded with tips only known to PR insiders. Get people talking about your company!

(Right up front, I have to say that my post may very well upset those folks at PETA and other animal lovers. I can only swear up and down that I love my dog, and hope everyone realizes that, though I take full responsibility, this was an accident.)

How do you handle a crisis? In PR, a client or reporter calling at all hours of the night screaming about whatever fire of that minute is pretty standard. It’s the nature of the business, really. But not everyone really knows how they’d act until presented with a situation that tries your nerves at the least opportune time. This is especially true when the crisis is personal, increasing the possibilities that one could lose his or her head tenfold.

On Saturday, I was tested, twice, and came out with the answer of what I’d always known about myself under pressure.

With blue skies, a light breeze, and shorts-warranting weather, a Jeep ride to the beach with my Bodhi seemed perfect. I dropped the top, loaded up the puppy, filled up water bottles for the two of us, and tied him to the Jeep bar so he wouldn’t jump out. He really loves to stand towards the edge and stick his paws on the inside, right near the edge.

Well, I don’t know what happened, but I turned the corner to my neighborhood, only going about 10 miles an hour , if that, and somehow he must have slipped and fell out of the car, dangling from the car just by his collar! I was mortified and slammed on the breaks to unhook my 135-pound puppy! Luckily, he’s very big, and I hadn’t made the leash too short, so he reached the ground, and wasn’t choking, and wasn’t hurt….just a little stressed out (he gets stressed easily). Though I was extremely upset, I calmly unhooked him, apologizing to him the whole time, and got him situated in the car and chilled him out.

But all I could think was, what if he’d fallen out on the highway? I only could imagine, so to prevent any further issues, we drove back, got his car harness (which is what I should have done first off), and continued our trip.

Not more than ten minutes later, as if to retaliate for the previous incident, Bodhi left me a present on the back seat, and climbed up front with me, while we are driving on the highway at 65 miles an hour. The fact is that he’s relieved himself in all three of my cars, numerous times, so, I wasn’t all that surprised, especially since he was stressed early. But with my puppy, stress=diarrhea. And let me reiterate, he’s a big boy. Needless it was a mess and a simple trash bag wasn’t going to do the trick.

Normally, I keep paper towels, plastic bags, and a scrub brush in the truck, just for this situation, but unfortunately was SOL. All I had was the brush, some Tupperware, and a couple of towels. After pacing up and down the street, to which I’d pulled off, considering how these three tools could factor in, I finally broke down and knocked on the door of the house I’d parked in front.

Barbara, probably the nicest lady in the world, invited me, offered me her hose, let my puppy play in her back yard, and even offered me Woolite Pet Stain Remover…an added bonus that takes the smell out of things.

While addressing the issue slopped in the back of my car, grateful for the generosity I was fortunate enough to receive (what are the odds?), all I could do was laugh. My nerves were at an all-time high, after being so racked with stress, that I had nothing left, but humor.

Just with this crappy situation (yes, that’s an intentional pun), life both in our personal and business worlds offers daily challenges in which we have to decide how to react. Our choices have direct repercussions to how the rest of the situation will play out. I’ve found, both in my personal and business dealings, the best way to handle difficult, sometimes messy, situations is to take a breath, address the problem directly and immediately, try to find the humor, and take away the lesson.

My lesson from this situation? Before leaving the house with Bodhi, always cover the seats in a tarp and pack supplies.  How do you handle conflict?

(Dear PETA people…You can rest easy…the puppy is back to his normal ways of destroying my home with the same exuberance and zeal as pre-incident.)