Everyone is leary of another kind of person or profession. All lawyers are scummy and untrustworthy. All devout and pious individuals will try to “save your soul.” All reporters only look out for number one and when the story is done so is their interest in you.

Usually this opinion you hold is based on one specific event that affected you. Then, the  next time a similar situation occurs, your feelings are augmented 10 fold, only fortifying your conviction. This makes sense. But it’s also dangerously limiting, because we often become so blinded by our belief that we fail to see the actuality of a situation.

I know. As someone in PR who’s a blond female and a jock, well I’ve got my work cut out for me, don’t I? More or less, I’m an airhead spin-doctor. Haha. Or at least that’s what someone might think without knowing me or my track record and realizing that I’m often too honest and smart for my own good.

In NLP, we use time line therapy to break down barriers of the past and allow for personal growth.

Take a look at your own stereotypes about a certain kind of person or profession. Are these helping you in anyway or are they limiting how you can connect on a deeper level with a potential client or business partner or friend? Could you take down your animosity for one second to re-evaluate that person? What benefits could you both see from doing so?

(Image source: www.21countries.com)

I’m not sure what it is, but often times when I meet a new person, whether for business or personal, the other party often tends to get carried away in a massive devulge of personal information. Perhaps it’s because they feel comfortable with me? Maybe it’s that sign on my forehead that says, “Please, tell me your life story in the next 10 minutes.” I don’t know.

But I, like other people out there being talked at, find this somewhat frustrating because when I leave the conversation, I’m left wondering what exactly I added and what  I got out of it. As I don’t run my mouth endlessly, I find comfort in listening to others. Really, I do! I find it interesting and insightful…most of the time. It’s when I’m unable to respond or feel that judo kicking the other person  to get a second to interject that I feel as though the conversation takes on more of a work attitude rather than a fun conversation. (And mind you, I like all my conversations, work or personal, to be fun.)

I don’t know about you, but I get tired. Literally. I feel my eyes start to droop, my mind starts spinning to whether or not I should get my dog fixed instead of what I really want to be doing, which is listening. But after an hour (or four, I’m just saying) of someone blabbering away, without pause,  (you wouldn’t believe how often this happens to me and I’m too nice to walk away or hang up…although it does cross my mind), I feel like just a pile of mush. And THEN, when they call or want to meet again, I’m disinclined. Wouldn’t you feel the same way?

This recent onslaught of OVER TALKERS with which I’m faced  regularly left me wondering how business professionals can really create beneficial relationships if they aren’t connecting. I recently introduced two people, who I thought would have a nice working relationship. However, one came back to me and said, “Jaylyn, I can’t work with him! I really appreciate your help, but it’s not going to work.” When I asked why, I learned that the other individual spent three hours talking to the other person, without even so much as a question about my good friend! I was appalled and embarrased that I’d even suggested the pairing.

Take a second and look at how you converse with others. Are you hogging the conversation? When you walk away, can you name three things the other person said? If not, it might be time to talk less and listen more. You wouldn’t believe how people will open up to you when they know you’re listening!

One of my very good friends is a prominent business owner in the North East, who is just getting acclimated with using social media for business. Awesome for the company, as it obviously increases exposure. Not so awesome when he decides to have a meltdown on Facebook about the stability of the company!

Ok, ok, it wasn’t so much as a meltdown as it was a questioning of the future. Tomato. Tumato.

He uses Facebook for fun AND business, so pretty much all of his friends saw that comment. Granted, he didn’t realize that his momentary lapse in confidence would spark a 10-day whirlwind of phone calls and emails to me abotu his situation, but that’s what happened.

I can guarantee that he’ll think twice in the future, but that really could have jeopardized his credibility as a business owner. When branding is a huge aspect of your target audience’s buying style, why would you give them a reason to second guess you? Especially when there are 25 contenders waiting in the shadows for even a chance at capitalizing on reasonable doubt.

When  incorporating social media in your marketing and PR plan, it is essential you maintain the upmost positive attitude. Even if behind closed doors you’re putting out 1000 fires, don’t make public cries of despair, unless you want a handful of new issues to address. Or, if you’re at your last phase and are ready to go public with the problem.

Otherwise, you risk destroying that brand your PR and marketing team workes so hard to create.

(Image source: www.lawyermeltdown.com)

Some with whom you speak will say no. They say, once it goes viral, measuring goes out the window. See, this is a problem for me.

I can’t go to the board of a multimillion dollar company and tell them that, “Yes, we’re seeing great success with our campaign. Umm….We just don’t know how much.” Are you kidding? Ha! As a professional in the business, you’ve just committed integrity suicide. You might as well leave the room at that point and keep on walking.

Numbers matter. Evidential support of your efforts matters. Progress matters.

I do agree, on a certain level, that it’s difficult to determine every single person who’s heard your message. A book club leader may share the information with her group, but no one acts on it. And until they do, that information might as well not exist. However, you can measure the action your message inspires.

Here are a few ways, though seemingly simple, can help determine if your social media efforts are worth their weight:

• Twitter — How many additional followers do you receive every month? How many messages and mentions?
• Social platforms like LinkedIn and Facebook — Again, how many people comment on your page? How many friends do you have? Has that number changed in the last month?
• Blog — How many people are following you? How many comments are there? Do people email you with questions, concerns, proposals? What is the communication?
• Website — How many people came to your website each month? How long did they stay? How deep into the pages did they get? Did they sign up for any of the free information you offer? Did you capture their contact information?

There are a lot of programs you can use to capture this information. Sometimes, all it requires is sitting down and tallying the numbers. Other times, I like using Google Analytics, because it’s fast and easy. But whatever you end up chosing, I guarantee, your boss or clients will be happier when you can show them where their money is going and what progress you’re having.

(Image source: www.jmorganmarketing.com)

Often times, companies will spend a major chunk of their communications budget on reaching the external audience. But what about the internal? Your first customer is always your employee. They are closest to the matter, have more invested, and talk more about your business than any of your clients. Doesn’t it make sense to factor in your labor force when brainstorming different messages and channels?

When I worked for my former company, we had an unbeatable environment. We wore whatever we wanted (within reason), kept beer in the fridge, and had dogs running around. We’re at the beach, so our style was laid back, even though we were one of the most successful government contractors in the country. It worked for us.

Though there were high expectations and pressure to get the job done, often working 80-hour weeks (on a good set), my coworkers and I felt that the company cared.

Then, we got bought out by a larger, seemingly soulless organization that disposed of its people faster than trash.

During the acquisition, there was no established source of company communication, if you discount the water cooler. But as most know, water-cooler facts are not always true and often a great source of fear mongering. This left everyone worried, stressed, unsure, and unhappy.

With one quick swoop, the corporate attitude and structure had changed. Everything we loved about the culture of the former company was crushed, as were the feelings and hearts of everyone who felt emotionally tied to the organization. It was really heartbreaking to see men, who on Friday loved being at their job and hanging out with old war buddies, despised the same company on Monday. Heartbreaking.

Though there will always be feelings of anger, resentment, and frustration, standard byproducts of mergers, I don’t think it would have been as bad. Employees hate feeling left in the dark, and they have every right. They invest their lives into a company, an idea of purpose and missions. One of the easiest ways to keep them content is to keep them involved and in the know.

Obviously this doesn’t work on all decision-making levels, but there needs to be some driving force that includes everyone. Whether it’s a newsletter, a corporate blog, a weekly meeting, whatever. Companies that do well by their employees will do well by their customers.

(Photo source: www.radwan-pr.de)

Found this book by Davide Seaman today at Barnes and Noble and pretty much read through the whole thing in a sitting. For those of you looking to augment your brand’s identity or just learn a few tricks about what to do while doing a radio interview, this is a great book. The format is simple and straightforward and loaded with tips only known to PR insiders. Get people talking about your company!

(Right up front, I have to say that my post may very well upset those folks at PETA and other animal lovers. I can only swear up and down that I love my dog, and hope everyone realizes that, though I take full responsibility, this was an accident.)

How do you handle a crisis? In PR, a client or reporter calling at all hours of the night screaming about whatever fire of that minute is pretty standard. It’s the nature of the business, really. But not everyone really knows how they’d act until presented with a situation that tries your nerves at the least opportune time. This is especially true when the crisis is personal, increasing the possibilities that one could lose his or her head tenfold.

On Saturday, I was tested, twice, and came out with the answer of what I’d always known about myself under pressure.

With blue skies, a light breeze, and shorts-warranting weather, a Jeep ride to the beach with my Bodhi seemed perfect. I dropped the top, loaded up the puppy, filled up water bottles for the two of us, and tied him to the Jeep bar so he wouldn’t jump out. He really loves to stand towards the edge and stick his paws on the inside, right near the edge.

Well, I don’t know what happened, but I turned the corner to my neighborhood, only going about 10 miles an hour , if that, and somehow he must have slipped and fell out of the car, dangling from the car just by his collar! I was mortified and slammed on the breaks to unhook my 135-pound puppy! Luckily, he’s very big, and I hadn’t made the leash too short, so he reached the ground, and wasn’t choking, and wasn’t hurt….just a little stressed out (he gets stressed easily). Though I was extremely upset, I calmly unhooked him, apologizing to him the whole time, and got him situated in the car and chilled him out.

But all I could think was, what if he’d fallen out on the highway? I only could imagine, so to prevent any further issues, we drove back, got his car harness (which is what I should have done first off), and continued our trip.

Not more than ten minutes later, as if to retaliate for the previous incident, Bodhi left me a present on the back seat, and climbed up front with me, while we are driving on the highway at 65 miles an hour. The fact is that he’s relieved himself in all three of my cars, numerous times, so, I wasn’t all that surprised, especially since he was stressed early. But with my puppy, stress=diarrhea. And let me reiterate, he’s a big boy. Needless it was a mess and a simple trash bag wasn’t going to do the trick.

Normally, I keep paper towels, plastic bags, and a scrub brush in the truck, just for this situation, but unfortunately was SOL. All I had was the brush, some Tupperware, and a couple of towels. After pacing up and down the street, to which I’d pulled off, considering how these three tools could factor in, I finally broke down and knocked on the door of the house I’d parked in front.

Barbara, probably the nicest lady in the world, invited me, offered me her hose, let my puppy play in her back yard, and even offered me Woolite Pet Stain Remover…an added bonus that takes the smell out of things.

While addressing the issue slopped in the back of my car, grateful for the generosity I was fortunate enough to receive (what are the odds?), all I could do was laugh. My nerves were at an all-time high, after being so racked with stress, that I had nothing left, but humor.

Just with this crappy situation (yes, that’s an intentional pun), life both in our personal and business worlds offers daily challenges in which we have to decide how to react. Our choices have direct repercussions to how the rest of the situation will play out. I’ve found, both in my personal and business dealings, the best way to handle difficult, sometimes messy, situations is to take a breath, address the problem directly and immediately, try to find the humor, and take away the lesson.

My lesson from this situation? Before leaving the house with Bodhi, always cover the seats in a tarp and pack supplies.  How do you handle conflict?

(Dear PETA people…You can rest easy…the puppy is back to his normal ways of destroying my home with the same exuberance and zeal as pre-incident.)

Tonight, I’m attending a posh, invite-only networking event and have to say…normally, I wouldn’t look forward to it. Though I’m outgoing and naturally a conversational person, I find it terribly awkward to be shoved into a room with other individuals, unsure about what to talk. That’s like an uncomfortable first date without a movie or dinner to add some sort of distraction. You’re just…standing there…looking at the other person, hoping they’re as interesting as you hope you are.

Ok, to be honest, when I started this post, I really wasn’t even looking forward to it. But then I remembered something. It’s all about your attitude.

Now, some of us may find it hard to downshift from anxious to calm in one swift move; that’s like going from fourth to first. Truly, though, it can be difficult to try and talk yourself confident—repeating affirmation after affirmation, feeling like SNL’s Richard Smally, not quite believing it but not wanting to give up. I have nothing against visualization and affirmation techniques, quite the contrary. However, for instantaneous transformations, they don’t always work.

What does is repositioning your physiology—your body language.

Take a second and try this.

Stand up and walk around the room, head down, shoulders slouched, staring at the floor. While you’re doing this, imagine thinking about a ballplayer, who just struck out in the world series and now the game is over. How do you feel? Besides silly for trying it, you most likely felt a sensation of sadness, slight depression, or frustration.

Now, take a deep breath and throw your shoulders back, lift your head, smile, and think of yourself entering a castle, where upon your entrance everyone bows or cheers. What’s the difference? Ninety-nine percent of responses will reveal feeling confident, powerful, happy, limitless, and so on.

Just by shifting your shoulders and head and imaging a person whom you want to emulate can make all the difference in how we see the world. AND how others see us! Which perspective will you chose to have today?

(Image source: www.dantudor.com)

In the middle of September, I saw a Santa Clause display on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. September! This blew me away.

I love the holidays more than anyone. Just ask my family and friends, who suffer my obsessive decorating, cookie baking, and present making from the day AFTER Thanksgiving to Christmas. Right up until the day.

But, personally, I find it somewhat tacky that companies are rushing us through the other holidays; just in case you didn’t remember, we still have Halloween and Thanksgiving. As a business owner, I understand the importance of capitalizing on every opportunity,where morally appropriate. However, there is a natural progression of the holidays that is a tradition to observe. So, when I talk to my clients, and they ask, I tell them to start planning as early as they can, but wait until after Halloween, at least.

I know many others who have actually stopped doing business with certain companies specifically for their the fact that they come off as being greedy. Sure, they may initially make more money in that extra month or two, but what are they losing in the long run?

(Image source: www.greentreegazette.com)

Bob Wolf’s Green Train Project started off with a valid cause: to inspire humanity to increase their environmental awareness. But as many other organizations have found, encouraging other people to believe in an effort is not always difficult; it’s inspiring them to take action where things get can get a little tricky.

From the very beginning, Bob’s mission, as the Environmental Dummy (www.theenvironmentaldummy.com), was to educate those around him and on a massive scale about the simple techniques that the everyday Joe Shmoe could use to make a positive impact on the environment. Easy things, like using energy-saving light bulbs and watching how much water we use. Yet, talking one-on-one with individuals did not reach the desired level of change that he wanted.

Then he realized that the quickest way to propel the population is to hold an event or fundraiser in which they can participate. This gives them purpose and raises their awareness of the cause. Once they make your cause personal, then it becomes a word-of-mouth brushfire.

After much thought about how to incite change on national and global scales, Bob founded the Green Train Project, a 30-state, 10-week tour of the United States (and later Europe), that kicks off in April 2010, led through the country on a biodiesel, solar-powered train! He knew he need a large event driven by people with a voice and established followings…who better than musicians with millions of fans?

What we can learn from this example is the power of marrying entertainment and a call to action. Look at your business or organization and determine how you could involve your target audience. How can you make it fun? How can you make it so they talk about it for years to come?

For more info about Bob’s Green Train Project:
www.greentrainglobal.org
Facebook: Green Train
Twitter: GreenTrainPrjct