What do Aesop, Shakespeare, and Dr. Seuss have in common? Yes, of course, they’re writers. What’s beyond that?

In short, they command attention. Now, you may pull the covers up a little higher after the second line of iambic pentameter. Of course, this is understandable, because Shakespeare’s not for everyone. But eternal glorification and permanence in our canon obviously means he did something right. He, along with his previously mentioned colleagues, pulls us in with mesmerizing words, characters, and plots that harness minds.

Why do you care?

This should matter to you because the techniques of the sages are what you can use to etch your place in your industry. The use of storytelling has been an inherent element in every culture, not only to entertain, but to teach and retain autonomy and character of the people. Take a lesson from history.
Whether on your website and brochure, or interviews and articles, you can capture your audience’s attention with a story carefully designed to impart the chosen information. Look at your marketing and PR material at little more closely today. Where is the story in your information? What is unique about you, your product, or services? What will people remember?

Do you really know your customers? Really?

Sure, you may know that Tom Brime goes golfing whenever it’s 70 degrees and sunny. Susan Peters prefers vegan food, although she will drink milk, occasionally, with chocolate cake. When TNT runs a Bond marathon, you know that if you want to find Mike Wheeling, he’ll be on his couch with the phone turned off.

Yes, these details say a lot about your clients’ personalities and preferences. Any good salesperson would be sure to remember these idiosyncrasies, as personal relationships have always, are, and always will be the basis for closing a sale and retaining customers. It’s been said millions of times: People do business with those they like.

However, do you know their communication and learning styles? What is their VAK (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) preference? For example, if Susan is more visually oriented, when you go to meetings, she is going to want to see charts, graphs, pictures, and the material in front of her at which to look. If you spout off statistics and other data, without something for her to see, most likely her head will be spinning. (I know, as I pull towards visual.)

Additionally, this also affects how you should phrase your words. Since Susan likes to see things, demonstrating your comprehension of what she’s just said as “I hear you,” will leave her feeling uneasy. Yeas, that means the same thing as “I see what you mean,” but neurologically speaking, she doesn’t process the information the same. Susan might feel as though she as to continue to explain her point. This will result in everyone being frustrated.

Avoid this confusion by figuring out in which spectrum your customers fall. Then, make sure to keep this in mind when conversing with them, either in person, or by email. I like to have a reference file on each person with whom I work (especially if I don’t know them as well), which describes each person and their preferences. This way I tailor my communication styles and develop better rapport overall.

(Pic from www.qfdi.org)

Recently, there has been an onslaught of blog posts covering the importance of rapport, but not so many defining what it’s not. The term seems so hypnotic that anyone can use it and automatically define themselves as a person entering relationships with integrity. You and I both know this isn’t true.

What does it mean to have rapport with someone? Does it mean that you develop a relationship based on falsehoods? If someone never realizes that you’ve conned them into believing this façade, is that rapport?

Whether in business or daily lives, we are confronted by fake individuals. You know the kind; they pose as one thing when they really are another. The motive is not so much a concern for this argument, but the results can be detrimental. This is especially true when it’s an individual in your industry or circle, because, ultimately, you are associated with this person, either by profession or acquaintances. (How many PR professionals out there have been branded spin doctors, when their whole practice has been honest and value-driven? HINT: If you’re in PR, raise your hand.)

Unfortunately, I’ve experienced this situation recently with someone claiming to be a seasoned professional, but yet having no background or training, save the few books and blogs he’s read. In the relationships in which he engages, he speaks of his “lengthy” experience, deceiving the targeted clients. Later, in other circles, he claims to have “solid rapport” with these poor victims. How is that rapport?
It’s not!

If you’re coming to the conversation with, not just an ace, but a deck in the hole, you’re not only cheating those misguided souls who trust you. You’re cheating yourself.

In NLP, we discuss opening honest and reciprocal lines of communication to yield rapport. Basing the conversation on falsehoods only jeopardizes your legitimacy in the long run and can be very damaging, financially and mentally, for those subjected to this kind of abuse. When seeking to build relationships with others, start from a place of honesty and commitment to values. The moment a client realizes the lie, you’re entire investment will be destroyed.

As someone who places great emphasis on developing quality, long-term relationships with my clients and network contacts, I recently have faced the hard-nosed question of where to draw the line. These past few months, the majority of my clients have failed to pay me, bounced checks, made promises, and seemingly ignored invoices, yet all with an apologetic, sometimes melancholy, response. Then, when I do receive payment, they come with low eyes, a monotone voice, and a frustrated look, gripping the check with white knuckles. This leaves me feeling guilty that I’m asking for compensation for the services I provided. (What, Jaylyn?!?)

Yeah, after collecting a two-month old payment yesterday, I spent the following three hours feeling as though I’d done something wrong. Did I not go the extra mile for this person? Didn’t I allow him to spread out the payments, only to have them bounce in my account, and charging me for the fee? Didn’t I do work and cut my prices? What else could I have done?

My goal is to support my customers as much as possible to 1. Keep a working relationship, and 2. Maintain the established friendship. But is this possible when difficult situations regarding money come into play? How much are you to sacrifice your well being for that of your clients?