One of my very good friends is a prominent business owner in the North East, who is just getting acclimated with using social media for business. Awesome for the company, as it obviously increases exposure. Not so awesome when he decides to have a meltdown on Facebook about the stability of the company!

Ok, ok, it wasn’t so much as a meltdown as it was a questioning of the future. Tomato. Tumato.

He uses Facebook for fun AND business, so pretty much all of his friends saw that comment. Granted, he didn’t realize that his momentary lapse in confidence would spark a 10-day whirlwind of phone calls and emails to me abotu his situation, but that’s what happened.

I can guarantee that he’ll think twice in the future, but that really could have jeopardized his credibility as a business owner. When branding is a huge aspect of your target audience’s buying style, why would you give them a reason to second guess you? Especially when there are 25 contenders waiting in the shadows for even a chance at capitalizing on reasonable doubt.

When  incorporating social media in your marketing and PR plan, it is essential you maintain the upmost positive attitude. Even if behind closed doors you’re putting out 1000 fires, don’t make public cries of despair, unless you want a handful of new issues to address. Or, if you’re at your last phase and are ready to go public with the problem.

Otherwise, you risk destroying that brand your PR and marketing team workes so hard to create.

(Image source: www.lawyermeltdown.com)

Found this book by Davide Seaman today at Barnes and Noble and pretty much read through the whole thing in a sitting. For those of you looking to augment your brand’s identity or just learn a few tricks about what to do while doing a radio interview, this is a great book. The format is simple and straightforward and loaded with tips only known to PR insiders. Get people talking about your company!

(Right up front, I have to say that my post may very well upset those folks at PETA and other animal lovers. I can only swear up and down that I love my dog, and hope everyone realizes that, though I take full responsibility, this was an accident.)

How do you handle a crisis? In PR, a client or reporter calling at all hours of the night screaming about whatever fire of that minute is pretty standard. It’s the nature of the business, really. But not everyone really knows how they’d act until presented with a situation that tries your nerves at the least opportune time. This is especially true when the crisis is personal, increasing the possibilities that one could lose his or her head tenfold.

On Saturday, I was tested, twice, and came out with the answer of what I’d always known about myself under pressure.

With blue skies, a light breeze, and shorts-warranting weather, a Jeep ride to the beach with my Bodhi seemed perfect. I dropped the top, loaded up the puppy, filled up water bottles for the two of us, and tied him to the Jeep bar so he wouldn’t jump out. He really loves to stand towards the edge and stick his paws on the inside, right near the edge.

Well, I don’t know what happened, but I turned the corner to my neighborhood, only going about 10 miles an hour , if that, and somehow he must have slipped and fell out of the car, dangling from the car just by his collar! I was mortified and slammed on the breaks to unhook my 135-pound puppy! Luckily, he’s very big, and I hadn’t made the leash too short, so he reached the ground, and wasn’t choking, and wasn’t hurt….just a little stressed out (he gets stressed easily). Though I was extremely upset, I calmly unhooked him, apologizing to him the whole time, and got him situated in the car and chilled him out.

But all I could think was, what if he’d fallen out on the highway? I only could imagine, so to prevent any further issues, we drove back, got his car harness (which is what I should have done first off), and continued our trip.

Not more than ten minutes later, as if to retaliate for the previous incident, Bodhi left me a present on the back seat, and climbed up front with me, while we are driving on the highway at 65 miles an hour. The fact is that he’s relieved himself in all three of my cars, numerous times, so, I wasn’t all that surprised, especially since he was stressed early. But with my puppy, stress=diarrhea. And let me reiterate, he’s a big boy. Needless it was a mess and a simple trash bag wasn’t going to do the trick.

Normally, I keep paper towels, plastic bags, and a scrub brush in the truck, just for this situation, but unfortunately was SOL. All I had was the brush, some Tupperware, and a couple of towels. After pacing up and down the street, to which I’d pulled off, considering how these three tools could factor in, I finally broke down and knocked on the door of the house I’d parked in front.

Barbara, probably the nicest lady in the world, invited me, offered me her hose, let my puppy play in her back yard, and even offered me Woolite Pet Stain Remover…an added bonus that takes the smell out of things.

While addressing the issue slopped in the back of my car, grateful for the generosity I was fortunate enough to receive (what are the odds?), all I could do was laugh. My nerves were at an all-time high, after being so racked with stress, that I had nothing left, but humor.

Just with this crappy situation (yes, that’s an intentional pun), life both in our personal and business worlds offers daily challenges in which we have to decide how to react. Our choices have direct repercussions to how the rest of the situation will play out. I’ve found, both in my personal and business dealings, the best way to handle difficult, sometimes messy, situations is to take a breath, address the problem directly and immediately, try to find the humor, and take away the lesson.

My lesson from this situation? Before leaving the house with Bodhi, always cover the seats in a tarp and pack supplies.  How do you handle conflict?

(Dear PETA people…You can rest easy…the puppy is back to his normal ways of destroying my home with the same exuberance and zeal as pre-incident.)

Yes, it seems unlikely, when you look at this sweet face, but trust me, my gigantic puppy is a monster in his own right. Trying to communicate with him is one of the most difficult and seemingly futile tasks that I encounter on a daily basis. After bringing Bodhi home, we learned that Swissys (short for Swiss Mountain Dogs) are a difficult to train, especially for first-time dog owners, because the breed tends to a mind of its own. Having grown up with dogs, this isn’t as much of problem for me, as it is for my boyfriend, however, who continues to struggle with this daily (he’s not a dog person).

Watching the two is quite comical, and a good lesson, because Chad talks to the monster as though he’s a friend: a rational human being, who relays information in a similar manner, style, and language. Yet, if you’ve ever tried to have a logical, rational conversation with an animal, in your language, you know it’s a lost cause. Basically, you’re coming from two different worlds with two different communication styles and models.

Though I don’t look at my customers in comparison to dogs or animals in any way, watching the two different species trying to communicate in my living room did raise some good points about how we communicate with others. Maybe it’s not always as trying as bridging the lines between man and monster, but there are moments when it seems like the message is just not getting through to the other person. The following are a few points of PR Zen brought to you by my recent experiences with the Bodhi monster, who, by the way, is currently eating my research notes:

• Observe before you can understand – Some of the best dog trainers in the world, before developing their specific techniques, spent an inordinate amount of time studying how the animals communicate with each other. Similarly, taking the time to observe your audience and discover the fine intricacies of their idiosyncratic styles can lay the foundation for open lines of communication. Without them, well, it’s like arguing with Bodhi in our language—a lot of screaming and hollering only to have him continue on as though we’d never said anything.

• Approach with a kind heart and a willingness to learn – Somehow, some way, animals can sense your moods and demeanor. Fear, anger, sadness. It all gets through. Without this openness, you’ll be more closed off to really understanding the other party.

• Position your message from a place of their understanding, not yours – Chad has trouble with Bodes because he tries to talk to him from a place of Chad’s understanding. Once our trainer came in and instructed us about how a dog processes information, we could see how by just doing something so slight as changing our postures resulted in a dramatic change in how Bodhi responds. When you attempt to forge a conversation based on the other person’s perimeters, you’ll discover an amazing thing…real conversation. Real responses. Real results.

• Understand that persistence and patience are not only valuable, they are key – It took a long time to get the monster to leave a treat on the floor without eating it. But we were persistent and patient…well, most of the time. Now, he will leave it 75 percent of the time (hey, we’re still working on it).

In NLP, eye patterns help us to determine how a person processes information, i.e., auditorially, visually, or kinesthetically. How one responds to questions is a sure give away to their dominate style. In this video, watch as the subject reveals her communication preferences.

I often stress with clients the importance of learning how to read others’ eye patterns to build better rapport. This is a great technique for understanding how you can phrase your wording and present your material to achieve the best results possible.

What do Aesop, Shakespeare, and Dr. Seuss have in common? Yes, of course, they’re writers. What’s beyond that?

In short, they command attention. Now, you may pull the covers up a little higher after the second line of iambic pentameter. Of course, this is understandable, because Shakespeare’s not for everyone. But eternal glorification and permanence in our canon obviously means he did something right. He, along with his previously mentioned colleagues, pulls us in with mesmerizing words, characters, and plots that harness minds.

Why do you care?

This should matter to you because the techniques of the sages are what you can use to etch your place in your industry. The use of storytelling has been an inherent element in every culture, not only to entertain, but to teach and retain autonomy and character of the people. Take a lesson from history.
Whether on your website and brochure, or interviews and articles, you can capture your audience’s attention with a story carefully designed to impart the chosen information. Look at your marketing and PR material at little more closely today. Where is the story in your information? What is unique about you, your product, or services? What will people remember?

Do you really know your customers? Really?

Sure, you may know that Tom Brime goes golfing whenever it’s 70 degrees and sunny. Susan Peters prefers vegan food, although she will drink milk, occasionally, with chocolate cake. When TNT runs a Bond marathon, you know that if you want to find Mike Wheeling, he’ll be on his couch with the phone turned off.

Yes, these details say a lot about your clients’ personalities and preferences. Any good salesperson would be sure to remember these idiosyncrasies, as personal relationships have always, are, and always will be the basis for closing a sale and retaining customers. It’s been said millions of times: People do business with those they like.

However, do you know their communication and learning styles? What is their VAK (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) preference? For example, if Susan is more visually oriented, when you go to meetings, she is going to want to see charts, graphs, pictures, and the material in front of her at which to look. If you spout off statistics and other data, without something for her to see, most likely her head will be spinning. (I know, as I pull towards visual.)

Additionally, this also affects how you should phrase your words. Since Susan likes to see things, demonstrating your comprehension of what she’s just said as “I hear you,” will leave her feeling uneasy. Yeas, that means the same thing as “I see what you mean,” but neurologically speaking, she doesn’t process the information the same. Susan might feel as though she as to continue to explain her point. This will result in everyone being frustrated.

Avoid this confusion by figuring out in which spectrum your customers fall. Then, make sure to keep this in mind when conversing with them, either in person, or by email. I like to have a reference file on each person with whom I work (especially if I don’t know them as well), which describes each person and their preferences. This way I tailor my communication styles and develop better rapport overall.

(Pic from www.qfdi.org)

Whether you’re in the PR industry, a company CEO, or just grinding out a 9 to 5, one thing is for sure: much of your success depends on the ability to communicate effectively. You can’t go into a client meeting, mumble your way through, stare at the floor, and constantly interrupt the other parties and expect to walk out the door in a better situation than when you entered. If anything, you should have just pulled up the covers and rolled over, because at least then you’ve not left the other person with a negative belief about your personal presentation.

Yes, personal presentation, the 24/7 phenomenon, which you control, that directs the different outcomes of your life. Having a degree in communications, I learned that it’s not only what you say, but how you relay this message that determines whether the other party fully receives the intended output. Myriad factors have a way of skewing our perception or diverting our attention, resulting in the true context and content of the dialogue.

Many of my clients are CEOs at prosperous companies, strong, determined men and women, who may have a stellar resume, but lack the real communication skills to lead the organization to a higher potential.

Enter Toastmasters. Or, really, any organization that provides an environment that fosters the growth of leadership and communication skills. I recently attended a meeting of a local chapter and was blown away by the way this very diverse group of people came together to offer encouragement and advice on enhancing one’s speaking abilities.

For those unaware, Toastmasters is an international organization dedicated to teaching members how to springboard their public speaking from shoddy to national speaking events (if that person so chooses to make that effort). My group leader informed me yesterday that as a result of engaging in the program, the organization has received countless messages about participants receiving promotions, winning contests, and improving self-confidence. One woman received four promotions in the span of a year!

Improve your relationships, your career, and your personal presentation by seeking out a group to challenge and assist you in, not only finding the right words, but the right avenue.

Recently, there has been an onslaught of blog posts covering the importance of rapport, but not so many defining what it’s not. The term seems so hypnotic that anyone can use it and automatically define themselves as a person entering relationships with integrity. You and I both know this isn’t true.

What does it mean to have rapport with someone? Does it mean that you develop a relationship based on falsehoods? If someone never realizes that you’ve conned them into believing this façade, is that rapport?

Whether in business or daily lives, we are confronted by fake individuals. You know the kind; they pose as one thing when they really are another. The motive is not so much a concern for this argument, but the results can be detrimental. This is especially true when it’s an individual in your industry or circle, because, ultimately, you are associated with this person, either by profession or acquaintances. (How many PR professionals out there have been branded spin doctors, when their whole practice has been honest and value-driven? HINT: If you’re in PR, raise your hand.)

Unfortunately, I’ve experienced this situation recently with someone claiming to be a seasoned professional, but yet having no background or training, save the few books and blogs he’s read. In the relationships in which he engages, he speaks of his “lengthy” experience, deceiving the targeted clients. Later, in other circles, he claims to have “solid rapport” with these poor victims. How is that rapport?
It’s not!

If you’re coming to the conversation with, not just an ace, but a deck in the hole, you’re not only cheating those misguided souls who trust you. You’re cheating yourself.

In NLP, we discuss opening honest and reciprocal lines of communication to yield rapport. Basing the conversation on falsehoods only jeopardizes your legitimacy in the long run and can be very damaging, financially and mentally, for those subjected to this kind of abuse. When seeking to build relationships with others, start from a place of honesty and commitment to values. The moment a client realizes the lie, you’re entire investment will be destroyed.

Composed of how one walks, talks, acts, and dresses, communications studies show that image, how others perceive a person, plays a major role in his or her success in life. Even the simplest or seemingly absurd details, like how many pieces of jewelry you wear to an interview, can determine which doors open and which remain triple padlocked. Because of this, we, as a society, carefully choose what we wear to work, on a date, or to church, etc., to coincide with the how we want others to see us.

In fact, our culture goes to such extremes to procure the best reputation that we spend millions of dollars every year on courses, workshops, and consultants dedicated solely to this purpose! Most times, we are prejudged based on the aforementioned traits, and the truth about our real personalities gets lost in the mix. Instead, what remains are the opinions others form based where we stand in their paradigm. Whether we like it or not, perception matters.

And the business world is no different.

Customer beliefs and views of a company and its product directly correlate to whether the finances stay in the black or fall into the red. Take the once-popular Mexican food restaurant, Chi-Chi’s, known for its signature margaritas and reasonable prices. After a hepatitis outbreak in Pittsburgh in 2003, allegedly due to a bad case of green onions, the food-chain suffered tremendous losses. Despite proactive efforts by the organization to ensure the safety of all the restaurants, patronage fell and stayed down. Where once you were guaranteed to find a Chi-Chi’s in most cities, the notoriously yellow-painted buildings closed their doors. Sadly, I’ve yet to see one open today.

The lesson to be taken from this is that the public’s perception of a company can determine how strong of a player it is in the marketplace. However, that’s not to say that business owners are at the mercy of the customer, with no control in the situation. Through strategic public relations campaigns, consisting of publicity, promotions, and crisis management (something Chi-Chi’s could have used), companies can take a proactive approach to forming a positive position in the industry.

Without constant dedication to create and maintain this identity, organizations can, and have, fallen to the wayside, letting others that understand the value of image, control the market. For Nike spends hundreds of millions of dollars annually promoting its image globally. Year after year, the athletic gear giant commands one of the highest portions of its sports-centric market. The reason is not necessarily because Nike shoes are better than all the other footwear. The reason is because we, the consumers, are led to believe in the strong, dedicated attitude of the brand. We believe in the image, and that’s what sells us.